Firsts #10-20190921 – Reality turned on its head … and then regifted

Firsts #10-20190921 – Reality turned on its head … and then regifted

That night … 30/09/2018 … Gradually, we all headed home.

All of us were with her when she sighed her last, gentle, breath. Each of us had our own moments for personal goodbyes, our space with her.

Then, each one stepped into their special giftedness. Some organised the undertaker. Some washed and prepared her now resting body. All watched out for each other … then, James drove me to our place.

No one knew quite what to expect next, this was uncharted territory. None of us anticipated, or planned, we just wanted to be together. Totally unexpectedly, but building one response on another, the night took a very different (but totally appropriate) shape. It was like a ‘Kinder Surprise’ all the recognisable wrappings were there, but when it was cracked open, something unexpected emerged! 

Who could know, or describe, or expect such a time of laughter and storytelling, toasts and chocolate, tears of profound sorrow and of joy for us. Why? Because the two who most loved parties, who entered into them with such joy and anticipation, (Leanne and Ciddy), had now both gone from us.

Ciddy, beloved wife, mum, Niney, sister, outstanding friend and work colleague, faithful and loving saint of God, was dead. That vital, effervescent, life and people-loving gift into our lives and hearts – as disconnected from us as her body from the machines which had held onto a fragment of life for 22 just long enough hours. So, suddenly – she and I were laughing, satisfied, bubbling in life and joy. Then, without warning, she was hovering on the brink of ‘here’, or ‘there’. No time to anticipate, to plan, to even understand. Yet!

And, now, here we were, doing all those things. Not quite a party, but with most of its characteristics. It started with a simple affirmation:“Perhaps we should raise a glass!”

And we bewildered few, five of us, family and dear friends did so: raised a glass, and ate a chocolate toast - and the stories and reminiscences flowed. Just as suddenly, after an hour, or two, quietness and introspection gently overtook the almost revelry. We all knew that time for solitude had now become important … and we headed off … to bed … and greatly surprised, entered into restful and gentle sleep. Truly! What seemed unlikely, even unimaginable, was a gracious gift, from the embrace of a loving and compassionate God. We knew the truth from The Prophet that “Joy is our sorrow unmasked. “ And from the Scriptures: “Tears may come at night, but joy comes in the morning!”

This night … 20/09/2019 … just the two of us … on the phone …

And seconds passed and became minutes, became hours and days, weeks and a year … to the day, to the hour, to the minutes … now laughter and tears again spilled lovingly from mouths and eyes well used to both, but not overburdened by the need for or absence of either. 

Totally unplanned. Not even imagined until the next mornings new brightness and that unsought memory-on-waking about events of that night before. Recalling that intimacy and comfortable closeness of kindred-spirits, soul-friends. That gift of grace-space, where meaning and seeking are more intuition than knowledge, closer to telepathic than communicated out loud, faces that are read over the telephone, and love and the person who bind us together, all … delighted in.

This night, (20/09/19=DJ+📱🍷) the ‘power of now’ so closely caught up the life-giving and sustaining characteristics and experiences of that night (20/09/18=DJ+🍷🍫++), exactly one year since - to the moment.🧩

Unimaginable gift! Unmerited grace! Peace-giving and peacemaking, birthing wholeness and contentment. 🧩

Affirming “no regrets”. Endorsing love and loving … totally unplanned … and … unplan-able!

Wow!      🌈🦋                          Breathtaking! 🌈🦋🙏                            Simply beautiful 🌈🦋🙏 🧩 💝