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  When gifts become burdens age and experience are twin gifts they are also twin burdens   as gifts they offer extended horizons multiplicity of insights patterns and disturbances of learning surprises unforeseen with power to shock and amaze nurture and renew  a veritable pantheon of choice and resources   a pallet of undreamt colours, combinations and rainbow promise the leggo blocks of new possibilities and creative reshaping for reaching out even of innovation teaching discerning developing nurturing including and embracing change people circumstances unimagined   uncertainty and threat (real or imagined) overflowing possibilities emerging opportunities reveal an underside,  dark, oppressive expectations and demands  in the guise of seeking-after-help and the gifts  become burdens and the burdens barriers   soon appreciation that encourages delights energises and celebrates  lies buried under a tsunami of expectation  that wondrous gifts and graces  generosity and insights are simp
  Sending Terry’s spirit home: In the wind ... witnesses   In her language,  On her Country, She acknowledged the ancestors  and told them of our purpose there.   Quietly … we waited.   As she spoke so also a crow – the messenger bird called out             Telling the ancestors that another is to join them here   As the crows cries died down, a Wedge-tailed eagle appeared …             Then …             Another …  come at the crows’ call to receive our friend into their midst             The great crowd of witnesses revealing their welcome.   And … the wind … blew it blew … strongly   Spirt wind Creator Life giver Spirit receiver God revealer Reshaping land and seas Air and clouds And ...   creatures ...    On the wind   Among the Arta Mai, (healing trees [black boys]) Spirit released Ash remains   scattered from our hands   and gathered   into the earth … rejoining the elements   welcomed into an unseen yet seeing immensity of witnesses.   It is into your hands,   your love-worn and
  Journeying – knowing grief, living towards hope, and the complexity in between For Tony (Shirley), Amelia (Terry), and Susan (Tony)  sometimes slowly as mist rises in dawns early morning sometimes speedily as waters’ ceaseless flow over rapids and falls sometimes fleetingly, as dragonfly’s flit across tranquil waters – now here, then gone sometimes time, space, memories loss, grief, joy and laughter come and go, in and out disturbing and disconnecting renewing and revealing always there is no emerging pattern or formula no reliable progress towards ‘completion’ entering into a new beginning for life lived and deeply loved and those who inhabit it then and now and tomorrow’s tomorrow all mixed in there is only journey with immanence and distance a rich and disturbing peace-filled and relentless seeking-a-way discovering the invitation to receive the gifts of sight and hearing to continue becoming sometimes this journey is exciting the discoveries invasive in their emergence regenerati

Realisations and revelations: “Come to me all who are burdened and heavy laden … I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light!” (Jesus of Nazareth).

  Realisations and revelations:  “Come to me all who are burdened and heavy laden … I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy  and my burden is light!” (Jesus of Nazareth).   Can a soul be burdened? Can a heart heal on the overlap between joyous remembering and breaking in sorrow: where joy is not our sorrow unmasked (Gibran), but is crushed in a rising tempest of pain?   Watchers see our journey of introspection and reflection … of quietly re-forming priorities and perceptions …  and offer their inaccurate … and disconnected assumptions … out of their own bewilderment at a journey and experiences that fit no design or plan.   They seek to name what does not exist …  for grieving is a journey of ‘now you see it, now you don’t!’ …  a journey which only emerges …  like shadows in winters’ fog-like mists …  and pieces for a complex jigsaw … for which there is no image or picture to guide its building.   Do not dare to tell us what you see,  or what our words or actions mean,  or that we a

Realisations and revelations - 11.30 … 2 hours to go! – 19th September 2020

  Realisations and revelations - 11.30 … 2 hours to go! – 19 th  September 2020   Unsought and unbidden it just popped into my head. 11.30 … 2 hours to go!   What?   I check …  yes, it is 11.30 am on September 19 th  … but … what is this 2 hours about? 11.30 + 2hours … 1.30pm …                   Another random, unsought thought … September 19 th  … 2018! “That is when Ciddy came home from her catch-up with Wendy!” And additional thoughts gently and singly emerge into consciousness …                    “Then 2 hours, and another 2 hours, and another 2 hours …”  What the …???   Still no clarity or connectedness,  still no unveiling of memories and (or) heart triggers.   Then, like the layers of an onion, 11.30 + 2 hours = 1.30 + 2 hours = 3.30 …                   Another random, unbidden thought …. “That it when we went to the travel agent … Greece here we come!”   Hardly settled into dawning awareness … another layer reveals …  11.30 + 2 hours = 1.30 + 2 hours = 3.30 + 2hours = 5.30 …  

Firsts - 20181223 - With Ciddy at the beach (day before our 53rd wedding anniversary)

Firsts - 20181223 - With Ciddy at the beach ( day before our 53 rd  wedding anniversary ) So many times I watched her walk along the beach. It could have been any beach,  at any time,  in any country  and any season, sun or rain, hot or cold,  she loved them all Stones or white sand  and everything in between, it didn’t matter,  on every one familiar and inbuilt behaviours emerged … Feet bare,  sandals or shoes swinging in her hand pants rolled up, sometimes not quite far enough eyes wandering, watchful,  seeing sea and sand, sky and birds, people and pets,  but especially children and their families. Bending or crouching often,  to retrieve some small revelation of wonder,  a gift of nature, or tide, or humanity, mysterious and complex,  or just drinking it all in like a thirsty person in a waterless desert Paddling in the irresistible water,  small splashes,  unexpected spray-scattering kicks, and always those bright eyes wan

Firsts – A new start - characterised not by absence but by surrounding presence 20200211

Firsts – A new start - characterised not by absence but by surrounding presence 20200211 Two chairs sit on a familiar, loved rug  they mark my first step towards inhabiting this new but anticipated space …  this waiting-to-become-‘home’ space. I look at the photo I took … somewhat blurred by the hands shaking with the joy of the moment …  and for the first time  my heart does not ache with the pain of your absence.  I do not see the two chairs as another sign that I am somehow incomplete …  or that a more appropriate setting would be one chair,  marking this inexplicable place so many refer to (unhelpfully) as ‘widower’.  I look at the photo  remembering the bubbling delight as I arranged the rug and chairs,  and I hear a still, small voice in my spirit whispering gently … “One chair is not a descriptor of who or where you are!” And again:  “Two chairs speaks to what was,  and  is,  and  what will be!” Slowly,  oh so slowly  the unimagined